Holiday Road

Prelude to a Road Trip

2031:

So now that the Emerald Kerfluffle has sorted, we need about a week to prep for this. Thankfully, Serenity has a decent cargo hold, so I've got clothes and a few other items. 3 sets of body armor, photographers' vests (80 billion pockets means I can carry damn near anything) and some cases that'll be marked as photography equipment.

Doing some heavy feeding and bloodwork for my latest ammo experiments. One of the drawbacks to a gun is that the ammunition does minimal damage to vampires. Solution, make the ammo more lethal. Experimenting with materials and ballistics gel to figure out shatter and penetration. Basically we're creating a jumped-up hollow-point bullet, so that's pretty well solved. Now the propulsion is going to be a fun part. I think I'm going to have to go with a compressed air bottle under the barrel. Bonus, I can create a series of acceleration vents allowing for constant acceleration out the barrel. End result, better penetration and pure unadulterated ouch for the target. The down side of this is that it's a cast-iron bitch when I run out of ammo. With that in mind, I've got a couple spares that'll chamber the classic ammo from NATO and the Soviet block. Of course if I break those out, we are deep in the shit.

Not to say that it's been all work. When Cass gave me a dumb look after I explained why the planes are thusly named, a night in was in order. She likes Zoe. Who knew. The question of ghouling Rebecca is over on the side right now, but I think we'll have an answer once we land back in Rio. Brushing up on my German and Arabic, I'm doing some translation for my software documentation. Because that's always how we spend fun nights. No, really. I know it might be weird from the outside, but the documentation is a good thing. And it helps me with language skills, which are tremendously important. God knows we might be negotiating something, and I'd rather we not get boned because of linguistical error.

Future looking statements. I think I've got things plotted out to be able to determine the next Giovanni moves - I mean, with a memory of disasters pending, I'm taking a chance on thinking they'll be there for the cleanup, if they're not already there to help make it happen. Hopefully, Dresden will have sufficient infrastructure that I can make friends and slowly work them against the Giovanni. At the very least I can make friends who can feed me information on the Italians. How Tina reacts to what we're doing is going to make for an interesting flight. Hopefully she won't think her pops has gone totally around the bend.

To expand a little, Dresden gives us a chance to explore Europe a little bit more - on the up side, the mortal side of the house is fairly contentious, which gives a little chance for me to make some university contacts. On the down side, the people running the show in Europe are the ones who saw the Anarch Revolt, the foundation of the Camarilla, and are generally loathe to accept interlopers. We're going to have to follow protocol, which means presenting ourselves before the Prince. Brenda already apparently has credentials as a Toreador, and Cass is a Brujah, so those two are covered. Hugo and I are totally different matters. I'm not too dark, so I could possibly pass as another clan. My business interests and snazzy attire would make it easy to be a Ventrue. I can dominate people, but I don't know the ins and the outs of the clan, so I would have to wing it. Of course, Tina would also have to fake it as my childe...I'm getting a meh feeling the more I consider it. Being upfront is best, especially since they could call me on it in a century. Weird, for someone who used to play politics a lot (if memory serves) I am crap at dishonesty. However, the other side is that walking in and honestly announcing ourselves as Assamites is going to make some people shit. My saving grace might be that I don't carry a knife. Either way, we're probably going to be persuaded to make our stay as brief as possible. Note to Inner Smartass; do not tell the Prince we're just in town because we've got a few days to kill. Millennia-old vampires might not see the humor in that. Hopefully we can turn clan to our advantage, 'Give us what Cass is looking for and we'll GTFO.'

Beirut is a different animal. As a coastal town, I might be able to make some import-export contacts here, which would help for trans-shipping some of my brethren who want to make their way to Rio. Note to business self - while we're away, tell Andre to buy some houses and a few bodegas on the west side, make sure everyone gets a key and keep the lights on. Safe houses are handy. With that in mind, I'll need to make sure that the safe houses are indeed safe. Sewer exit to the street, panic room, etc. Also, it'll keep Andre busy. That man has attachment issues.

Finally, Baghdad. Further foundation to the underground railroad, there's going to be a lot of clan-intensive conversation. Ur-shulgi is...concerning. Okay, let's not kid ourselves, anyone older than Christianity is pretty scary. Ur-shulgi is from a time when the world was just figuring out bronze. I'm not even sure it's possible for him to understand the Giovanni plan. Given the results, he may in fact approve. Those of us are not fans of apocalypses may have to work around that. To that end, the Rio Port is born. Hopefully I can find enough people to make it worth my while. Hopefully, Masood has something in the works or at the least he can give some advice on how to form up some outreach. We can maintain our independent status as a clan, and we should. Our independence keeps us where we need to be - separated from the morass of politics and able to act.

I think I'm getting ahead of myself. Uniting a clan could be a bit of a pain in the ass. Especially if it has to happen in a century and a half.

The Dresden Files

Because really, what else would I call it?

Arriving In Style

I won't say the flight was dull, but it was a lot of hours in Serenity. More than I'm used to, but it gave me time to let Tina in on the future. She took it well, considering. I mean really, Dame Fortune kinda pissed in Tina's Cheerios. Here she is a K9 MP, doing her job, and she gets drummed out because the trail leads to an officer. Then she can't get a job, winds up a criminal, and then gets paid a grand to try and stake me. I accidentally kill and embrace her, which while noble, does kinda hose her as far as her day job of panhandling. And then I drop the "yes we're eternal, but the world's gonna turn into a pile of shit in 2 centuries. By the way, I know this because I got sent back in time ex post facto." So there was that. The in-flight movie selection was awesome - because I picked it out. I'll pry later into Tina's thoughts - that said, I'll make some comfort drinks for her in a couple nights.

I do kind of appreciate lights of the city, and Dresden's no different. Though it is kinda smaller than I'm used to. The landing strip was smaller, and whilst taxiing, we had a serious greeting party. I admit to nerves - usually 4 war wagons and a limo means Herr Jason is going to have to talk fast or shoot fast. Thankfully, it was neither. It was apparently the security chief for the city, Frau Ott. Recalling my hockey-watching days, it seemed appropriate - that guy was a dick. Being a good lad, I shut it while Cass took the lead on we're here, we have a reservation, etc. She asked where our security detail was, and acted like Cass had ripped a medium fart when she discovered that we had come without extra security. I'm sorry, but two Assamites is the security detail, thankyouverymuch. That said, we were promptly augmented with a 20 man team and advised that we would be staying at the Pillnitz Castle, and we were to be comfortable as heck.

I'll be honest, the castle was almost enough to put the nerves at ease. Seriously, the foyer was bigger than my house. All of it - including the sub-levels. And while going through it, we were introduced to a land of ostentatious wealth. Seriously, I couldn't look at anything for too long, instead having to focus on the academic questions at hand; how the hell did they know we were coming, and are we guests like the world sees it or are we guests as a euphemism for prisoners? These are nice questions, while we got the dime tour because Frau Ott announced that it was 2 hours and 23 minutes to sunrise without looking at her watch, and that we would be seen to our quarters, and that tomorrow we would be meeting the Prince and having a little soiree.

Lightbulb. I've seen that trick exactly 2 other times. Data, and Cass. Frau Ott didn't seem like an android, so that left us Cass' Cousin. So that might explain a couple things. That said, the castle was a distinctly well-appointed, we had our suites with secret exits to sleeping chambers where we could crash. Welcome to Inquisition-era security. 50 tons of rock cocooning silk sheets. Once again, insanely skilled Auspex bites me a little as I can hear the ultrasonics they're sweeping the room with. Sigh.

I slept well enough though, and came upstairs to shower - after that, I had a staff to take measurements. Not to be arrogant, but these are people who recognize my worth. Finally. Although as a side question, how do they know about my chops? And what are they setting me up for? Things to find out. And in short order I found myself in a 18th century hunting garb in a safe dark green complete with a nice green ribbon for my hair, with a swordcane at my side. Hell yes. What was nice was that the tailors didn't blanch when I started discussing protective-wear. Admittedly, I sacrificed protection in the name of comfort. Thus far it seems like...well, Germany's a nice enough place. The other jolt was when I stepped outside and had to remind myself that it was fall. Looking around, everyone else was similarly appointed. That said, we had a coach waiting for us, and the security was all in period gear. Pretty sure they had snubs hiding somewhere, but I wasn't going to be too worried. Honestly, we had enough to worry about.

There's something to be said about controlling a city. Seriously, we had a picturesque coach ride straight out of Hollywood - traffic had been diverted around us so as not to distract. Upon reflection, it seemed like a serious power show - what are they hiding? I'm just too damned suspicious of the onerous displays like this. I'm not sure what it is, but something feels off. Either that or we just don't roll like this in Rio. If the idea was to get us out of our comfort zone, it worked like a motherfucker on Cass. Especially when we hopped out and had two columns of period soldiers snap to when we stepped out.

For a guy who topped out at Private First Class, I have moved up.

So we are introduced to the Prince, and he's a bit more formal with Cass than the rest of it. Clan thing, or is Cass from a powerful bloodline? Okay, my paranoia needs to go put itself in a box and have a nice hot cup of fuck off. Hopefully it'll at least shut the hell up for awhile, and I can focus on other matters. So that done, we get to the part where we're dancing. Tina can't dance, but her partner could. Meanwhile, the seneschal and I had a brief conversatrion about how long we'll be in town, and my lineage. Also positive, he didn't shit himself when I mentioned the whole lineage thing. Could be good. We discussed interests, and I mentioned computers and guns because, well, that's my thing. Weirdly, the Nosferatu in the corner (why are they always in the goddamn corner) didn't freak when I waved.

After that me and Frau Ott naffed off to the command center in the palace. It was the holodeck, I shit you not. Looking at the amount of control she had over the city was spectacular. I fully and freely admit my fangs were hard watching the technology at work. Paranoia showed up again asking why this would be needed. Fang-on said "because we can, bitch" and the argument was settled. It was rather amusing to watch Hugo get caught stealing a coin, which was impressive. Again, ultrasonic pulses that I noticed right after she mentioned them.

I did get something of an answer when we started discussing weapons. She's looking at flechette rounds to fight Lupines. It's an interesting question from an academic standpoint. I'm still partial to Vera, and I brought up the specs. The real issue is that silver isn't cheap, and silver nitrate is bullshit. The other real problem that she faces is that field testing is hell. I called Andre, made a few modifications to Vera for production, and asked that he make a short-run and send them to us. Fortunately I brought my comfy "I'm working" clothes.

We wound the night up in the parlor talking politics. I haven't been keeping up on current events like I should be to be quite honest. The bolsheviks are making a comeback, vampirically. I hate to say it, but they tried it twice - Carthage, and then again with the old Soviet Union. Both were spectacular failures because communism doesn't really take the human into equation. Sadly, the Brujah think they can do better this time. They're so cute when they're being idealistic. In mortal politics, Turkey and Greece have been at war for several years over Greece nuking a disputed possession. Odd thought I may mention to see if its' been tried - invite Turkey into the EU. That allows the dispute to be settled by relatively neutral parties, Turkey gets an economic boost, the drains an extended war places on everyone are relieved, and soldiers can come home and do what they do best - screw the beejeezus out of anything that moves and keep the liquor stores profitable. Vampirically, the stability keeps the bolsheviks and their bolshit at bay, and allows cooler heads to prevail.

So that part's done, and I have a bad feeling that while Cass is doing her thing with clan and them, I'm going to be working on ammo loads and delivery systems for the Ice Frau Ott. Eh. There's worse ways to spend a vacation. I may nip out for a night though, Dresden is utterly gorgeous. And it's Fall, so I'm rocking and rolling. Maybe a night at one of the clubs to see if those Oktoberfest wenches are as sturdy as the internet makes them out to be.

R&D - Dresden Style

Castle Pillnitz kicks ass. I just have to remind myself of that - occasionally indulgence rules. That said, I have a thing or two to do. Kicking the tires on their machine shop, it was...quaint. Oh the machinery worked well enough, but it was all circa 19th century and powered by various off-the-grid means. So after that, I went to the good old work shirt (AC/DC never goes out of style, no matter what garbage the radionet tries to force down our ears as some Malkavian prank gone horribly wrong) and cargo shorts. Barefoot because you really have to feel the machine to become a part of it.

But that's another thing entirely. Frau Ott showed up, and we were off for a tour of the technological wonders of Dresden. Seriously, kid in a candy shop time for me. The VW transparent museum, fine piece of German engineering. Along the way, we discussed a ton of nanotechnology and using it against the lupines. As an intellectual exercise, it's utterly fascinating. Although I'll be honest, it'd be more of a loadout for a sneak-attack rather than a pitched battle. Morally I'm okay with that. We had some discussion about the hows and the wherefores, but there was something in my brain that kept tickling me. Annoying Voice in my head kept nagging, but then my eyes were going "Dude, semiconductors and nanotech - Helllllloooooo, NURSE." So finally during the general wind-down and hammering out who's going to be doing the heavy lifting on the nano-tech (Quick hint: it's gonna be someone not me.) Annoying Voice asked a valid question - why the shit are we throwing all this R&D into a silver nanobot with a rudimentary guidance system to attack lupine nerve clusters when the classic headshot with a silver bullet is just as effective. Frau Ott gave me a decent enough answer along the lines of German efficiency, but Annoying Voice called bullshit on that. I agreed with annoying voice.

So eventually she did come around to the real(er) security problem - apparently someone's making a play for the city; to wit, representatives of the old regime. And they're backed by Setites. At least one, probably more. There's a few in town, and there's at least one who's a good hacker. So I gotta find them. Frau Ott was kind enough to let me see some of their other prototype goodies and I may have done some sort of chibi happy-faced squee. Energy weapons. So nice, but again, plasma and energy and other fun things that I'm only aware of in a theoretical sense, and even then only when they cross into my spheres of knowledge as an ancillary thing. After a more thorough and honest discussion of what's going on, and being hired on as a consultant for some interrogation, I decided it was time to test out some of the Oktoberfest brews.

Damn nice. Damn nice. I am going to have to work on my blood-flavoring to try and reproduce some pilsner. Or maybe a lager, but lagers are cold - blood as a general rule sucks when cold. I may be stuck drinking stouts for the rest of my unlife. And that just makes me want to weep the tars of eternal sadness. Once I got back to the castle, we had a quick discussion of who can do what. Apparently ghosts have a complex society or something, as Brenda just gave me a weird look when I hit a few things here and there and asked her about possible ways to hit up ghosts about a setite. Dammit. I suppose I'll need more information or something, because overall she gave me a look like the one I tend to give her when she calls me and says "The magic box is broke. Fix it." That said, the next order of business was a quick chat with Tina about the flight-over discussion. She's still dubious, but I gave her the next world cup finale and game notes. She'll buy into it then, assuming there's nothing else coming to play to prove it beforehand. I'll give her credit, she's open-minded enough to accept the possibility, but then requires some proof. Also helpful, she gives me some focus. Like starting to lay down the plans for monkey-wrenching the shit out of Giovanni plans. That's where the rest of the clan comes into play because well, we're going to need help. There's 5 places we need to go to crap on Augustus' Master Plan To Stop Eating At The Kiddie Table Of Antediluvians, and yeah. That's going to be a fun night. Coordination, timing, the whole schmear. But that's a thought for another night. Caught up on everything, made sure Andre was doing his things, and sacked out. Though Andre is a little concerned about it. He doesn't trust the Germans. Hell I don't think he trusts anyone when I'm not around.

So the next night, interrogation. Nice suit, and we wandered to a place not too far outside town, where there was a skinhead. He'd been seen with a few of our targets, and well - he was with-holding information. Given that they didn't have anyone handy with Auspex before, and now they did - presumably the local Toreador is purposely being left out of the loop - they thought maybe that'd be worth a go. One thing to note was that he'd given up most of his information after waterboarding (not exactly a shock), and so it was time to continue. I started reading the ever loving crap out of his mind while asking him some questions and going through that. Everyone's afraid of something, and Herr Stark was afraid of drowning and tight spaces. Time to put that to work. Frau Ott knew faces, and Tina's a way better interrogator than me, so I flipped the Auspex switches some more to mentally throw them what I was seeing. It was a bit of a stretch for me to be honest - I felt like Scotty beaming three people from two places onto one pad.

Frau Ott's mind is...if I had to use a word, it would be frosty. If I licked it, I'm pretty sure my tongue would stick to it, and high comedy would result. It's like at some point she decided emotions were for suckers. It made mental communication with her very awkward, especially since I don't think she'd ever done anything like that before. But apparently I am one hell of an interrogator, because I was able to get a confirm on one of the people, and then a good lead on the other. The linguistics brushup was helpful, because I was able to ID the mans' accent as west slavic - awesomesauce. Now grooving into that, I was able to subvert his orders to essentially copy the cops on all of his movements. He's been working on the underground fight club scene, and making contacts while doing so, all for the woman. He doesn't dig the guy, but he would die for the woman (Sara.) That said, we got names, places, and a new asset for Frau Ott. I think she likes me - especially after she asked if I could track him, and I answered rather affirmatively.

Back at the castle, more discussion - I have a job for Hugo, basically playing in the dens of sin and iniquity to see if the Setite has made any moves to do what they always do, which is make the world a cesspool so their dark god can float his boat on an ocean of depravity. I am so not a fan. Of course Hugo wants something in return, but I'm willing to bend a little. He wanted education in Quietus. Like that's ever going to happen. We dickered around a little bit, and he settled for Celerity.

Now the next order of business is going to be stopping a war with Turkey and Greece. Realistically, nuking a disputed possession isn't the kind of thing to really go to war over, but it seems to be an "any port in a storm" kind of thing. As noted, a peace accord keeps the bolsheviks at bay and then maybe blunts the Giovanni somehow - lots of death means lots of ghosts, and I think they may have a hand in this. If not actively, they're certainly circling like vultures. Perhaps recon is in order.

Final order of business which is actually going to be some level of fun, Frau Ott mentioned that they've got a computerish personage in their group. Now that, my friends is going to be fun - I'm going to have to figure out how to find me, electronically, when I don't want to be found. Time to drop something shiny on the world, and then see who bites. Crosscheck with some known and unknown anonymous proxies, see who's grabbing the new toy, and then start a backtrace. That's fun. Okay, not everyone thinks it's fun, but not everyones' me. Make contact and start asking questions. Fun times abound.

Mr Auspex Is Not Always Our Friend

Of note during the interrogation, was while we were winding it down and flipping Herr Blackshirt, was that I got a text from Cass. Seriously, I didn't mean to totally get snippy with her but between reading one guys mind, sharing what I was seeing with two other people and keeping the interrogation flowing so that Herr Blackshirt had no idea I was, I was a little swamped. I gave her a quick rundown, and finally got myself together. Back at the palace was Cass and a veritable swamp of roses. Wat. Da Fuq. Seriously, advanced Auspex skills at this point made me feel like my nostrils were having angrysex courtesy of the local flora. I seriously had to shut it down so I could talk to Cass in her room. Apparently the Prince likes her, or something. Which may be a little bit of a squick when it comes to the Princes' childe Verena. So finally we got everything settled - If I'm guessing right, the prince likes Cass because she still has a full range of emotions, and he misses that about himself. But we had an invite to go see the Prince and talk temporal mechanics.

Grooving on to the next night, I woke up and had a capital-h Hangover. It wasn't the worst one I've ever had (said honor still goes to the Baccahnal of 96, where one guy passed out in the tub, another had his head in the toilet for 5 hours, and I puke-and-rallied no less than 5 times before finally passing out betwixt kitchen and living room,) but it was definitely top-10 material. What made it top-10 material was that I could hear everything. There is a mouse in the walls, and he hated me. I know this because he maliciously was making his heart beat extra loud. And his claws were set to "Fuck You Asshole" as he tromped through the walls. I passed a few minutes in debate as to whether or not I should shoot the fucker or just use Quietus to silence his goddamn thundering feet, and then decided it would be better to sally forth and get ready for the evenings' adventures.

After some restoratives, I started plotting as to how to catch me. It took me about an hour, but I dropped a little next-gen overclock utility in the university servers. FYI, there's a lot of little dark alleys and side bends in those servers. I'm gonna have to take a night and play in there when I need some R&R. Hyped up the watchdog on that, and we were off. Not without a little regret, but I'll be back.

Dressing nice-but-not-formal for the Prince, the ride was uneventful. Quite possibly because my driver had my favorite pistol with him, with instructions to hand it the hell over when I asked. So that went well. The library that they have is fabulous. 5 stories, desks and chairs that look like they're from about the 16th century or so...I want one. Sort of. While information access has progressed to the point where I could have the entire information store of that library on my pinky, there's just something magical about a book. I think it's really nostalgia more than anything - when I was a kid, the library was the first place where I discovered what was possible. Greek Gods did battle with ancient demons, fantastic journeys were taken, and an undersized twit with a bowl haircut rode a Luck Dragon through downtown Manhattan. But I digress.

The meeting itself was kind of interesting. Someone did...something. It was like some sort of nagging sensation in the back of my head that the world had shifted subtly as soon as the portcullis closed. Then the two of us with the three Dresdeners; it looked like some sort of odd gathering - The baby boy prince who could seriously make any woman swoon and make about half the men question whether they were indeed batting from the right side of the plate, the seneschal who looked more like his dad than his younger sibling, and the Aryan Nun who was standing there with a yardstick and a stern knuckle-cracking expression. I thought the mental image was funny, so I shared the nun-part with Cass. She promptly fell the fuck out of her chair with hysterics.

I didn't think it was that funny.

The prince was amused and almost longing, the seneschal wanted to send Susie Derkins to the principals' office, and Frau Ott probably though that Cass had some sort of malady of the humours. Cass' face did promise that she would get me back for that and when she did I was in for a suffering. That little bit done, I got myself into Stuttering Idiot Mode, because I start explaining what the hell had happened to launch my ass back in time. It was horribly disjointed at first, but Cass threw an elbow at me. After that the house mentally restacked and I found my groove. I mean it was kind of an odd discussion with me just straight talking for a good two hours plus. After that there was Q&A. How I got launched back was an interesting discussion in and of itself - I would like to congratulate myself for not going the low-humor route of Back To The Future or something like that. Other than "They wouldn't get the joke", the apocalypse is generally not a place where humor hangs out.

My memory is an occasionally inviting place, and I have a decent amount of recall - even though the thing that sent me back in time apparently created a block of some sort, I can drive through it and remember. Which I did - and really, sometimes it's interesting to remember how and what happened. So after a discussion of the ritual, apparently there's one or two of the True Brujah who could have potentially performed it. The ritual itself was Mithrianic in origin, given the copious amounts of blood, the robes we were wearing, and the whole...tableaux, really. I gave them the places where Augustus keeps his souls, and as much information as I really could. Then came the 64 thousand dollar question. We've been sent back in time, armed with this knowledge. What are we going to do about it. I mentioned Jeremy, and knowing from back in the day - that brought them up short.

ooc note: More here later - has not been played out

So that bit of exhaustion done, we rode back in relative quiet, but as soon as we pulled up to the castle, the Danger-Meter pegged. Grabbed my gun and started doing a headcount. Brenda missing from the headcount, so I called her. Straight to voicemail, because of course she wouldn't pick up her phone while the world's telling me there's Klingons on the starboard bow. Time for plan B, getting into her headspace.

In hindsight, that may have been a mistake.

There was some sort of weird vibe as soon as the link established, like it was her, but not-her and there was more than just her in her head. After I sent some angry words down the pipe and getting some bizarre replies, I finally figured out that she'd gone to Buchenwald. Fuck-a-doodle-do. The images were flat-out horrific. Noxious fumes, ash, charred flesh, and gray-faced-gray-uniformed people tearing into trenches of meat and internal organs that the dispassionate part of my brain was identifying and cataloging even though the rest of my mind was shrieking and bouncing around in the brainpan and wanting to get the fuck out of there. So my body did the only really rational thing at that point and I barfed. Hey, if Patton did it, I don't feel bad about following his lead. The head of the place was freaked. I asked for a mop, but...yeah. They took care of that, but I had a nice napkin. Then I had to go to the bathroom just in case, and try and pull Brenda out of whatever hellscape the Buchenwald permanent residents had made up for her.

Once in there, I tried asking nicely, and then things got weird. Apparently nice is not appreciated, and I wound up in the scene and wearing gray with a star while watching some officers eating a scrumptious banquet.

Oh. Shit.

Since it was just a dream I was goddamn well going down swinging. The high points were getting pistol-whipped (again, the dispassionate part of my brain recognized it as the Luger P.08) and dragged out of the mess hall bodily. After that, I got shackled to a post and was whipped soundly until I was unconscious - although the whole time I made various comments on the parentage of my so-called captors, indicating that the newsflash was that they'd lost 90 years ago, and that they could go kiss the darkest part of my ass. I came to in the palace bathroom, and finally realized that I had...marks. From getting beaten in a dream that I had accessed via Auspex. Couple teeth and there was a bruise on my mouth, whip-marks on my back...that was a trip down the rabbit hole, and it's a scary place. Brenda's into something heavy and it's a place where I'm pretty sure both angel and devils fear to tread. Hopefully she can get her ass out of there before dawn, because that level of strange is almost beyond me.

After that, the staff was highly concerned for my well being. I needed a break, and got one courtesy of a pair of healthy German ladies who had both talent, charm, and a little restorative brandy. Dinner and a show, who could complain? Finally, I got myself sorted, and then all the things sort of resolved. Hugo found himself a lady with an Egyptian thing, so now we're back to my wheelhouse. In a moment of pure delicious irony, Hugo was griping about having to schtup a not-gorgeous drunk chick who almost yakked on him. I tried to be sympathetic to his plight, but being pistol-whipped and then whipped by people who've been dead for decades made me a little deaf to his sorrow. Background check on his new friend, she's a wannabe anthropologist who's being inundated with religiousity. Fortunately, social media makes surveillance a total cakewalk - so awesome, and then a little request for Frau Ott to watch me tomorrow because we have a meeting with someone who might be a Setite. Bless their sleazy little hearts, because I need some target practice.

Alles en Wunderland

So with some time left, I figured a check-in was in order. No Brenda. So I called Frau Ott and described what's what and the scenario. Yes I was a bad boy for letting Brenda wander off unattended, but telling her is not something I generally do. She either nods and smirks or pats my head and goes off and does it anyway. To be fair we have made a bit of a habit out of winging it when an opportunity presents itself. While describing the epic train wreck that is Brenda's mentalscape right now, I may have actually lost some points for emoting a bit much. Currently the book on me is probably "Competent to a degree, but don't let him improvise or tell stories."

With that in mind, an actual plan to appease the local dead of Buchenwald formed. The majordomo blanched a bit when I requested 3 US Army uniforms from Pattons' 6th and proper weaponry. Hopefully they'll at least let us talk if we show up looking like the folks who liberated the camp. Then came the issue of travel. Sadly, a car through the autobahn wasn't going to cut it, but Dalibor (awesome) rounded up a chopper for us.

A quick jaunt and people mobilized, we started looking for Brenda. The locals were a little skittish, and frankly I don't blame them a damn bit. Seriously, we were ahead of the curve just being here already. The only way I could have been faster was via astral projection, and I am not that crazy. Strange things happen near Buchenwald, and I am not going to go out of my way to be one of the strange things. So we lit up some drones, looking for Brendas' guards. After a little sweep, we found one. We hit the chopper and off we went. After some quick serach and rescue activity, during which I was relieved to see the guard only had some serious dehydration and frostbite happening, we discussed a quick sweep on foot. We were already in the area, so why not? We were going to have to face this place sooner or later.

I'm getting better at rappelling, or the German gear is just nice. Hugo, sadly, had more of a controlled fall than anything else. So without the period gear, we hit the place.

Let me tell you a brief story. Places have emotion. Back when I was breathing, I visited Little Big Horn several times. Each time, I felt a sense of...honor. I know it seems strange, but there was a sense of honor and reverence - both sides were fighting for something, and those who had died had died for something. These were things it took time to recognize, but they were. There's a certain respect to a battlefield, looking at lives cut short and whether falsely or not, there's an emotional reverence all its' own.

Buchenwald has exactly nothing like that. My boots hit the ground, and all I could feel from the area was despair. Slaughter, hopelessness. When the English language has a word for it, I'll write it. But there's a totality of misery and darkness within this place that has seeped into the land, and may never truly wash away. Moving forward was an effort for both myself and Tina. Maybe its' the auspex, or something deeper within the blood - it's said that Haqim was a warrior when he was breathing, and perhaps his perceptions of honorable treatment carry through us. Whatever it is, there's no overarching sense of honor in buchenwald. Dark, cold, shame, it pervades the places and for those with nerves to feel, it's there. Tina felt it too. I tried to be flip for all of a second, and that got me nowhere. Dalibor has no sense of humor - okay, he does, but it's tight. Tina was snippy, and I think Hugo was confused.

I suppose that looking after ones' childe is only natural, given what's transpired. Although I'm not sure that our relationship is the most typical sire/childe one out there, it suits me. At least I'm not a toreador, embracing the pretty one because she's pretty, and then punting when the definition of pretty changes. She's growing and becoming stronger, and for that I'm proud and thankful. Releasing her really would be a technicality or a formality at this point - she's certainly got the wherewithal to make it on her own. Presumably she's staying for her own reasons, though what those are...I suppose I should ask, but that's a question for another time. It's easier to think about Tina than Buchenwald.

The place damages my calm.

That said, I can't turn away from it, because my friend is in there. And she is alone in what my brief look would describe as a nightmare. Which is why we went out there. Certainly everyone had their own reasons, but mine are pretty simple. My companion of 2 centuries is there, in some manner of nightmare of someone elses' making, and she's in it. We'll fight, argue, snark, but we're there when it's that time.

But I digress. We moved forward nice and smooth, all the way up to the point where we lost Hugo. Seriously, one second he was there, and then the next time I turned to look for him he wasn't. Now if that's not disturbing, I'm not sure what isn't. So we backtracked. Hugo was nowhere, but his footprints weren't too terribly hard to find. Eventually, Dalibor got to Brenda's car and that thing was deader than a brick. Finally, we followed the tracks to the hospital. I used as much of my auspex as possible, and eventually we found Hugo. Or at least his body.

He'd been dissected and dropped into torpor. No decay, so he wasn't dead-dead. but his organs were very neatly arrayed about him. Unfortunately, we were a bit pressed for time so I was kinda dropping his internals back in somewhat haphazardly and sewing him up after a quick gown and glove action - but then when I was looking, it was like someone had placed a gold filigree chain in him. I lifted it with some forceps and asked Tina if she was seeing this, and...she wasn't. I looked again, and it was Hugos' small intestine.

That's what I dislike about this place, possibly more than anything. It casts doubt into your mind, that what you're seeing is indeed what is there. There are very few people who can create an illusion that I can't see through. If you can't trust your senses, everything becomes suspect. So with that, we absconded back to the helicopter and to a helipad in Weimar. One wine suite later, we had a place for the day. The police'll search for Brenda during the day, and hopefully they'll find her. I don't want to be here one minute longer than is absolutely necessary, but until I find Brenda, it is absolutely necessary.

One thing has moved up on my to-do list; I need to learn more about ghosts. The more I'm here, the more painfully obvioius it is that I got through Brendas' place by luck and shining virtue. That's never a good thing, because luck turns bad. Ask any gambler. So Dalibor's going to be heading back to Dresden for some studying of his sires' books, and he'll be back later with that information. Theoretically, we can con and convince the locals of the camp to give up Brenda.

And lest we forget, Buchenwald was a minor camp. I'm not getting within 50 miles of one of the major camps unless my existence depends on it.

One night in Weimar...

Does kinda make a hard man humble. So we land with Hugo, get him to a spot where we can figure out just what kind of damage has been wrought...and it ain't Hugo. It's a pretty well mummified body. Human. And that is one of the more disturbing things I've seen, because I saw what I saw. But what I saw wasn't real. I can see though vampiric illusions like nobodys' business, but we all got snookered by this. This left me overall unsettled as Cass joined the party and got the quick nutshell of what happened. So we retired to the wine cellar, with a plan for the next night.

That came to fruition rapidly. No sign of Brenda or Hugo, so Dalibor went back to Dresden to research, Cass went to the library, and I hit up my little trap to see if there were any nibbles. And nibbles there were, but scanning through it, I found the nibble I wanted. Some flophouse studio that had been rented to an artist-bar musician had gotten an upgraded connection, and that was enough to pique my interest. One call to Frau Ott, and the boys were on the trail. Bless their little efficient hearts. They found the place, and there was a laptop with some explosives attached to it. Said explosives were disarmed and the laptop brought back for further investigation.

Who's got two thumbs and bows to no master when it comes to computers? This guy.

So once that was taken care of, I needed a break. After all, we are theoretically on vacation. Cass found some good background material on the forest, and I woke up enough to realize I was peckish. Lo then didst we hie our asses hence, trolled the streets and found ourselves a coffee shop. I swear coffee shops have not changed since I was breathing. Barista over there, board games in one corner, a pool table, a cluster of nerds hunched over laptops, and enough cigarette smoke to give Zeus lung cancer. Nostalgia aside, I needed a meal. So I went to the bathroom and waited. Eventualy, three or four guys had the greatest whiz of their lives, and I was peppy. Like, more peppy than I shoulda been. I'm pretty sure one of those guys had ADD or something. Eh. Sometimes you just gotta give what you're taking.

Next order of business, calling Andre and advancing the plan of the Rio Harbor. We're going to excavate the mountain bisecting Rio. Or at least I am. And if the clan doesn't like it, hell I got a nice shelter. That said, I think they'll like it, even if it does kinda roll with my own personal architectural preference. I'm torn on this aspect. Part of me wants to make it like Alamut, part of me says to something new. I'll consider it more later.

Weimar at night is actually a little picturesque. Walking along with Tina and Cass, a little flush from blood, strolling back to the hotel and nudging each other companionishly, Cass griping because the church bells were .36 minutes off, even accounting for the speed of sound...it was Norman Rockwellish and almost comfortable. As a sidebar, I've realized since telling Tina everything about me (well, most of what I remember) I've been treating her differently. It's not like I've ever really held her at arms' length or disliked her company, but I have been holding her apart. Since then, there's been a little more, I don't want to say closeness, but a realization that I'm fond of having her around. Only took 3 decades.

Realization was set aside when we all kinda realized that there was a woman behind us, and another moment or two to realize she wasn't leaving tracks. Without even introducing herself, she started spouting prophecy at all of us. A little accurate and a little scary. Like, she said things that could have been interpreted a multitude of ways, and her vocal tones weren't leaving much to the imagination. That was...annoying. I'm not sure if it was because it broke the mood, or if there was something accurate in what she said. See, that's the problem with prophets - they can never just say "That's a bad idea." And we can only grasp the meaning afterward if we survive. The worst part about the whole thing was that she left no tracks in the light fanciful snow. Also, we've garnered the attention of some people. That just fills my heart with glee in this particular spot that's 4 doors down from hell.

4 Doors Down From Hell is my GWAR cover band.

So back to the hotel, and this is where Norman Rockwell left, and was replaced by the esteemed Mr Norman Bates. First off, the baby grand piano was playing some old German waltz thing. by itself. It's not supposed to do that. Then the world got weird fast. Like, it was Ghostbusters weird for about 10 minutes, with apparitions on the second floor, and not a whole lot of time to research if we had in fact gone into a bad place, and starting recordings of all the security cameras - including the fact that one of the security guys was making Hand Julienne Fries. Then up to join Cass on the second floor. Except that she was coming down. Then the elevator dinged and suddenly, Nazis. Like...Nazi-ish, but they were wearing face coverings. They demanded to see my papers, and this is where it got bizarre. I couldn't say the things that I wasnted to say. Like, I could hear him talking to me, and then talking to my subconscious at the same time. It was weird, but I couldn't hear what he was saying to my subconscious. There was banter, and then it just turned to utterly fucked up. He asked me if I wanted to be a Good German, and instead of telling him to kiss the fattest part of my German/English/Russian/Swedish/Danish/Black Irish/French ass, I said yes, I want to be a good German. Then they got themselves all singy with some Horst Wessel shit. It was not my jam, but for some reason I did not quiet the Messerschmidt Funtime Bunch. Much to my dismay, the world went elsewhere.

The next thing I remember with any clarity is the fact that I'm alone in the hotel and it's silent. Like, there's not even a heartbeat. The reason for that is obvious when I look around and realize that everyone who had a heartbeat 15 minutes ago is now sans face courtesy of a terminal case of Gunshot To The Face. I could smell gunpowder, and really it didn't take a wizard to put together 2 and 2 and get "The Assamite Went Apeshit." I didn't even have to Urkel up and ask if I did that. A quick check of the security cameras and the clock reveals I've lost 15 minutes. Like, lost them. Reaching out to Tina first and there's a quick conversation. She's hiding. More to the point she's hiding from me. And that's when...everything hits me hard. 15 people down in a minute. And the cameras were wiped. Thank the gods for small favors. But my laptop was untouched, and I discovered this to the sound of laughter. Fuck all y'all dead Nazis.

The whole thing just hit me hard. Like, all the lives I'd flatout executed. I didn't quite go catatonic, because there's been far too many of these in my existence to do nothing. But damn if I'm not going to have faces in my dreams for a year or ten. Fortunately Cass came back with some holy after a call or two and then...I called Daibor and explained things to him, somewhat. He is gonna pop a fang when he sees this.

For the first time in a very long time, I'm scared. Someone else was controlling me, and I am a brutal killing machine. It was like the fugues I had back when eating snakes was a thing. No memory of what I'd done, but a lot of wreckage in my wake. Didn't like them then, don't like them now. And Tina...I don't think Tina's ever really seen Scary Me. Now that she has, I'm not sure she can see me the same - which is a frightful thing, because right now I think I could use a beer. Or a hug. Did I really just type that? Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, it's like I'm Team Edward.

And I could use them somewhere other than Weimar. So much for Norman Rockwell. First, to clean the abbatoir I created.

Nihil - Not just a KMFDM album

So having cleaned and sorted, I finally got my shit settled enough that I could be coherent and functional. And then Herr Messerschmidt showed up for Act 2. So much for a quiet night and a movie. There was banter. There were rude gestures. Then he blew in my ear.

And that was enough of that and in a fit of Useless But Necessary Rage, I unloaded a clip into his incorporeal Nazi ass. He left - and I hate to admit it, but I was kinda proud of my grouping and speed. One to each eye and one in the Aryans. I felt better about myself right up until the part where flies started invading my face.

Flies. In Germany. In October. Not just any flies, but bigass horseflies - like the ones that would have bitten Sleipnirs' ass. And they were finding every freaking orifice. Fortunately, they only had my face. Unfortunately, there were a few pounds of them. So I started working to find a safe place. Stumbling through mostly blind sucked, and then I touched a doorknob and the Inner Alarm started going off quietly. I took a moments' pause and started arranging the cards - Card 1; Flies this size do not just show up this late in the year. Card 2; Herr Messerschmidt is not natural. Cards 1 and 2 lead to Revelation. I'm being herded.

Fuck that. As noted, I am not a fan of being herded. So with a little effort, I parted ways with my body to try and get another viewpoint. Once astral, my body decided to take a nap while my consciousness assessed things. First oddness was the door - it was solid. Doors are not solid on my astral plane. This did warrant consideration. Which brought us to the second oddness. While I was considering the implications of the door, my body started moving. That was an absolute first, as my body tends to have a very good habit of not moving when I'm not there to move it. And then there was some sort of...something firing down the cord and back, so it was time to stop contemplating the door and get my ass back to my ass.

In hindsight, I should have left a note: "In the event I am possessed by a Nazi ghost and am low-crawling toward you shrieking German epithets, do not douse with holy water. Just kick me in the face a couple times. But not too hard." The fact that this note is even conceivable to me and that a boot to the head is the better option should speak to just how crappy a situation I arrived back to.

For starters, there was pain. Vampires and holy water are not friends. Secondly, I couldn't see. Being blind sucks under any circumstance, but I was blind after decades of "I see everything". And from what little tremor I heard in Cass' voice, I apparently looked like I'd come down with a wicked case of Melty Wax Noggin. So after a little time, I was able to heal that wreck up enough to see, because fuck not seeing. A quick glance in the mirror and I have a couple scars and some badass Wolfman Jack white streaks in the goatee. May need to fix those later, but we're leaving the white. Looks cool.

Finally, we got all caught up - as soon as I mentioned the door, we further investigated and Cass apparently decided it was out of time-phase or some Star Trekkian temporal mechanics terminology. So she put it right.

Sometimes I don't think she should do that. It was a Sarlacc pit before George Lucas saw Little Shop of Horrors. So quickly trying for telepathy to Tina and got the lowdown from her. She was out on the street but it wasn't right. So I told her to get her ass back into the hotel, and we could formulate the fastest way off this rock. Weirdnesses there were aplenty - Tina tried picking the lock, and fell through the front door. That was pretty much the part where all the Lego blocks came together to make a death star. The Sarlacc pit was a dimensional portal, hence why it was time-shifted. People seeing it in the present as it was woulda freaked, but 3 seconds prior it was your standard broom closet/studio apartment circa 1995 Denver.

So now, the thing to do was obvious, especially with Tina mentally telling me she was right there next to me, when she wasn't. So, if it was a portal, logically she could come back through. I told her to try it and she was reallly hesitant. If this was anyone else, they woulda probably gotten the go fuck yourself. But she did, and my logic was flawed as hell because she slipped and fell in. Fuck a doodle do, this was going wrong with a quickness. Cass noticed it to because between blinks she had a rope and was gone down the hole after Tina. I do believe Cass likes Tina. Which left me in this dimension and really freaking low on options. After that went down, Cass' rope went slack and what I pulled up was icky. Then Tina started giving me a mental blow-by blow of a fight. Because Herr Mess wanted to pressgang Tina and Cass into his service, and bargain for me. Maybe. Pretty sure he's a dick. The thought that I might have to jump in the hole occured, so I went to the kitchen and grabbed a huge crate of baking soda because fuck acid, that's why. Also, no targets were presenting themselves.

The fight was over by the time I got back, but in that time, Cass and Tina had gone up against 4 ghosts on their ground and won. Not without a few dings, because someone shot Tina right between the girls. And then the hole closed up, and I lost contact. Because of course they couldn't get out that way.

I had a few moments to myself before Dalibor arrived, so I healed and drank from the bodies. It sucked, I hated it, and it was immensely frustrating. I couldn't do anything except wait, and I'm a little bad at waiting when I'm not comfortable in my surroundings. Dalibor did arrive and we didn't really bargain - I owe him, he forgets this happened with the understanding that I'm not going anywhere without checking in and a few other things. Then he brought in a guy who was pushing 70 - so about my age. We discussed things and he put things together enough to indicate that the dimension they were in was the land of the dead but not moved on. Herr Mess' wheelhouse, apparently. Gee. Thanks. Also he was mildly surprised at my psychic talents, but that was set aside because we had things to do. Things to do being head for a graveyard and make a hole between worlds. So I grabbed enough weapons to start a war in Africa (or possibly with Africa, but why quibble) and followed to the car. As we left, the hotel went up in flames. Bummer.

Off to the graveyard where there was enough creepy weirdness without us breaking into a mausoleum and going with one hell of an odd ritual - after shutting down my Auspex because blood and ash and cloying nasty smells - that ended up with the back wall crumbling and the color leaching out. Time to move because we were on the clock and the old guy was not going to be able to hold that portal forever. As soon as we stepped through the telepathic call for everyone went out. I got responses from Cass and Tina, Huga and Brenda....not so much. Damnations all around, but we got Cass and Tina back. They were in a church of all places. There was a quick hug and a gun for Tina and then we absconded - yea though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I feared no evil. Because I'm already dead and I knew where the hell the exit was. Also, I'm only mostly dead. This is the land of the really dead, and I don't belong here.

Back and into the car where we watched the hotel burn baby burn. Before we totally left Weimar in the rearview, Dalibor took a few minutes to talk to some 1920's style newsie kid. Fucking weird, that guy knows everyone. But enough of that. The ride back was blissfully uneventful, and once back at the Castle, we all totally lost our shit. Cass was lost and looking damn near frantic. Part of me wanted to commiserate, part of me wanted to kick her to the nearest jacuzzi or bubble bath. Personally, I just held up myself as much as I can - right now, I have to be there for Tina and Cass, because well, I wasn't there before. It's hard to describe how much better I feel with even half the group here. Overall, we're going to have to trust that a necromancer can get out of that particular sad depressing place. I think a few nights out with Tina are in order, so we get ourselves together and maybe figure out what we are.

I owe Cass a beer.

Dancing, Gambling, and a Snake.

So a 6-pack later (admittedly it's Heffenweisen, so we're good) we're...well, I'm not sure if Cass and I are actually square, but it seems kosher. Next night - it's 90's night at the Castle, because, well, Tina and I are in fact children of that age. Offspring, Soundgarden, Nirvana, all the grunge and metal. It just felt nice, y'know? The majordomo, awesome as he was, provided a whole slew of opportunity and one poor schlub who had himself a mullet.

Say what you will about the rest of the mess, but they do know a 90's party when you see one. Cass was rather bemused, Tina and I partied like we were breathing involuntarily, and the mortals, well, were retro for a night. Good times and great oldies. Cass had a lovely time taking two guys back to bed, while I was quite content to roll solo. Lost track of Tina somewhere in there, but I was comfortable with that - which I believe speaks more to the security of the castle than my paranoia.

Next night, Hugo and Amalcar show up - Amalcar was half in the bag, and Hugo was apparently a little mental from their trip to the underworld. Something about a midnight express, Brenda almost dying, and some other cockeyed nonsense about Buchenwald Camp Commandant Otto is hanging out with Hugo. Finally I just asked if I could dig around in his head for a minute, found out everything, and very seriously weighed the idea of shooting Otto. But it's going to be a side thing for the moment - on the whole, Otto's not my ghost. The best news is that Brenda and Hugo are alive and on the right plane of existence. That done, the Prince showed up in a nice open carriage.

I had heard that there were a few casinos around, but his highness advised me they were more of the slot machines and tourist trap games. To hell with that, I'm not paying the house money. The prince made a few calls, and we found a nice floating casino where there was a possibility for me to make some cash. See, this is what I like.

We walked in, got a complimentary grand and found a table. Well, the prince and Cass found a low-end table, and I dipped to the back where the high-end game was. It was beautiful, classic, and it made me drool. 10 grand in chips, I bought myself a seat at the table. Over the first hand, we discussed business interests, mentioning my casinos in South America and just generally getting to know each other. Meanwhile, I won a few grand. Then things started to get warm. After some more discussion, I dropped Beirut into the conversation and talked about diversifying interests. Which was made of fun - we weeded a few more people out and the table started getting nervous. I'm sure it wasn't because I'd been playing cards since before their grandparents were discussing kids. Eventually we were down to four. A japanese manufacturing guy (Dude had almost no flinch to his cards, except for a tiny vein that pulsed harder with a good hand), a hotelier from Britain who got visibly (to me anyway) excited when her cards were hot, and a Saudi prince who was the Kings' second cousin. Good times, especially when the prince was a lousy card player.

Several more rounds later, I was up a serious chunk of change, and then the prince wanted to win his money back - so he started raising the stakes. If a baby's going to offer you candy, there's no shame in taking it. We eventually ante'd up for a million each, and I worked it quite nicely into a win. Then we called a brief halt while discussing stakes for the last game. Turned out the mining company I bought was worth about 25 million, which pretty well matched up with a marina, a hotel, and a factory - all in Beirut. While we were discussing, I noticed a reptile in a hoodie had snugged up to a corner. Unfortunately I couldn't shoot the fucker, as much as every instinct I had said to do so. There was cards to play.

It was possibly the only time that night I sweated one out; this was a hell of an in for me. Diversification and a three-part hook for the Harbor. Hotel/safehouse, Factory/bolthole, and a marina to get the people en route. What's not to love about this? My lawyer is going to have a happy face when I call him. Finally a little win was mine and we all cashed out. The hotelier gave me her hotel key - I think she wanted to win her hotel back in a private game of hide-the-pickle. I think I can come to a better arrangement. The Saudi was pissed, probably because he's a lousy card player and nobody's told him. The Japanese guy, I like him. Definite respect going both ways there.

Good thing too, because 1) the snake was making me twitchy and 2) nobody had a Millenium Falcon to play for. As we were exiting, I called up Cass on the mental phone and let her know what was up. The Setite was good in a way I haven't seen for awhile, and backup was needed. From the tone of Cass, she was not happy at the intrusion. I'm pretty sure cockblocking a Prince isn't strictly a violation of the Traditions, but at the same time it wasn't going to win me any friends.

Unless I gave them something worthy - to wit, a bigass snake who was freaking good at hiding. He was as good at hiding as I was at seeking. Looking and seeing everything, we slipped into the kitchen and found he was trying to go out through the sewer. Good times were had by all as the slippery fucker managed to not get caught by me but got caught by Cass. I had to yank her out, and then the little bastard bit her. There was some shooting for which I will not apologize - it's the wheelhouse, he was in a pipe, and I couldn't exactly dominate him into not moving. Finally we crocked him and advised the kitchen staff that there was a gas explosion. Well, the Prince did anyway. We stood watch at the door while Frau Ott came in (I swear she was trailing frost) and took possession of an 8-foot hellbeast python. Cass had a bite on her neck that was far from the one she wanted, and she was muttering dark dark things. I may want to not tick her off for a night or two.

That said, time to think about what I'm doing with the stuff. I think I'm going to make an arrangement with the people. I'll take the marina, and then we'll make some additions to the hotel. The factory can become a straightup bolthole. We'll have to talk to some people about retaining their contracts for a transitional period. The hotel I may be kind to, because I think she may have overextended herself. We'll do some business.

Sometimes, it's good to be me.

Undead Action Hero

So the plan - I must emphasize that it was a plan - was to get dressed up nicely, take Tina out amongst a horde of politicians who haven't figured out that inviting Turkey into the EU is a semi-elegant solution to the war problem. At least until Greece and Turkey find something new to fight about. Figure that'll take about 3 to 5 weeks. Which, to be honest, that buys me enough time to get things in Beirut settled and be back on Serenity to chill my ass out while we fly into Baghdad for a long talk with Pops.

As all plans, it survived for a little while. Note to self - make sure Tina has a stylist; this may take becoming more friendly with the Toreador back home, but that's doable. Either way, whatever the hell incantations they did with her hair made it so awesome that if I would have been breathing my first two thoughts would have been "I want" and immediately followed by "out of my league". And directly below that was a terribly slinky dress. I'm so glad I have money to buy her a slinky dress. That said, if I was thinking she was hot, damn straight the old duffers were thinking it. Even if they knew it was a total play to get them to listen for more than a minute to the Turkish plan, it would give them an excuse for their mistress later. I was properly attired in black tux with green accents, black silk hair sleeve, and emerald cufflinks. Because Rio, man.

While I was standing there in admiration, my oh-shit radar went off at about level "prepare thyself". Pistol and ammo came out, and I started making my way through the house. The majordomo wasn't around, which is truly odd - the man is like, totally in the shadows and always no less than 5 seconds from "What would you like this evening sir". Heading up a flight of stairs like a ponytailed James Bond, I saw the security team doing a slo-mo run. Cass is not that whimsical, so again, the majordomos' presence was requested. Finally I found him on the balcony, doing a thing like he'd been hit with a Cass Trick. Fuck a doodle doo. Next stop was to say hello to everyone and confirm locations. Nothing from Cass. That was disconcerting as all get-out, but whatwas more disconcerting was her suite once we got there. on the way, I could see Cass' blood on the stairs, and I could smell it. You hang out with someone long enough, you know what they smell like.

The suite itself was redone in Early Trainwreck, courtesy of what looked like a man and a woman. Somehow, they'd convinced the door to turn to rust, stepped through, staked Cass, and left with her. That was enough for a call to Frau Ott. She sounded a bit snippy, like I was intruding on her timed-to-the-second plan. After advising her of what was what, whatever plans she had for the night changed, and she was hauling ass.

After a little investigation, we were apprised that not only had cass been staked by Vlad and Sara, we were told where the secret exit was, since that was where they were going. Tina went to her room and changed from formal wear to Combat-ready. All I really had time to do was toss on some body armor and grab a spare pistol, but Tina came up with a spare M4 and clips. Childer are so thoughtful sometimes. Thusly prepped, we went forth to make a good shot at a rescue. Down to a crypt, secret button, and down some stairs to a long, thin corridor. Beautiful ambush spot. If I were being pursued through this, I would definitely take a few seconds to chuck a grenade.

Fortunately the folks we were pursuing were shit-outta grenades, which is fortunate in that they aren't as vindictive as me - that said, they were smart enough to recognize a damn fine ambush spot when they saw one and lit the place up with incendiaries. It was enough to wreck someones' night. My first real thought was run. The next thing I remember with clarity was me, Frau Ott, and Tina hiding behind a sarcophagus. With a little help from the beast, we'd covered a quarter mile in under 6 seconds. That stung, but my hair was still relatively neat and armor intact. The surprising thing was that Frau Ott was there. I mean admittedly, I had an internal bet with myself as to whether or not she'd show what the rest of us considered an emotion before we left, but I was not a fan of seeing it in this particular fashion.

Once we'd gotten our shit together, I got the links up and discovered that Brenda was in pursuit on foot, having wrecked their car. So awesome when she does that. Hugo was taking care of the wounded (still not sure why he went that route, but I'm pretty sure if he hadn't, we would have.) So we hauled ass to Frau Otts' up-armored Mercedes Hummvee (best way I can describe it, honestly) where she got to drive. And damn, can she drive.

Over the river and through the woods to deliver asskicking we went. I did manage what would have been for anyone else an unreal shot. Dead of night, couple hundred yards, no thermal imaging or scope, and I popped Sara in the back. For those of you who protest it's not cricket to shoot a woman in the back, I can only counter that they'd tried to set us on fire after staking and kidnapping Cass. Those action indicated they were playing for keepsies, and it was incumbent on us to behave appropriately. And that means I shot the bitch in the back without even a little guilt. Honestly, the only thing we were lacking was Ride of the Valkyries or AC/DC. I seriously doubted Frau Ott would be down with either of those options, even if I had them on my Phone. So only roaring engine was our companion.

After that it got hectic, With Frau Ott telling me to shoot them when I didn't even know relative positions, much less have a chance at a clean look at a shot. Ordinarily I'da asked if she wanted me to use the Force or what, but this was not the joking time or the joking person. A good comic knows his audience. Finally we got to a farmhouse, and caught up with Brenda and the Time-Twister Pair with panache, and thus did we exit guns ready. And we looked out just in time to see a wagon wheel (they still have those!?) hurtling toward us like Satans' Frisbee. Tina and I ducked, Frau Ott not so much. That didn't bode well, but the odds were a little on our side. Everyone knew it, so they decided to stack the odds. Sara did a "stop in the name of love" move, I racked off a few shots at her because I felt no love, one hit and then a headshot that killed the doorjamb - I didn't quite have time to get the silencer going, mainly because I was going to need the blood for last-ditch measures.

Then I was moving...like molasses. The air got solidish around me, that's all I can say. I cranked Celerity to basically just keep pace with the world, and that wasn't nearly the fun ride I thought it would be. Vladislav was using Presence like the master he was - I decided Sara was an easier target. Sara had gotten behind the wall and wasn't moving (later I found out Brenda had kicked the Army of Darkness out to hold her still. At the time, I didn't complain. I could see well enough to guess where she was, and I remembered that a Fancy Miss was still a Miss. Centered, shot repeatedly, and was rewarded with a deader-than-shit house siding and a meaty thump of hits. At least I think that's what it was (firefights are loud, people.) Peripherally, I saw Vlads' head suddenly get endotted with an absolute picture perfect headshot from Tina. I do believe I said "Nice shot, dear". (Side note: that was twice in one night I called her that. We may have to talk about this and the possibility of it getting awkward.) Then out of the corner of my eye I see Tina doing something interesting. She'd cut her wrist and dropped a bullet into it before racking it back into the chamber. My childe is brilliant when it comes to playing for keeps, but she had a misfire and a resultant curse.

My turn - the backup pistol got a round off, then I was able to swap back to my Friendly Neighborhood Assault Rifle. During this, I saw Vladislav getting old...and his hand disintegrated like he was destroying himself. He needed help with that, I was helpful, and he turned into dust. Which is really kind of scary - here he was, an animated asskicking machine, and then in the span of 30 seconds he was ash. Let that be a lesson to us all, really - don't think you're invincible, because you're not. And so, with another quick (relatively) move into the dining area, we found that Sara had similarly met with her demise. Brenda was apparently not moving slowly, but once the combat din had faded I could hear three rabbity heartbeats from the second floor. I suppose that'll happen when there's a firefight preceded by an instant Mercedes convertible on your front lawn. Brenda was going upstairs for a bite and I reminded her that she'd already picked up a happy meal on the way (side note: EWW.) There was conversation, and I stalled enough for one of them to get out, but not the other. The other was apparently too much of a fan of wurst and bier. Dammitall. At least she didn't kill him. About that time Dalibor arrived and was suitably impressed by what we'd done, even at quarter-speed. Frau Ott, unfortunately, got triphammered and was effectively frozen. When your mom says your face'll freeze like that, sometimes she's serious.

Finally we got re-situated at the castle, chaos and crisis were done...and I still had that damn party to go to. At least my cufflinks were salvageable, but the rest of the tux was a mess. Hopefully, the diplomats and whatnot forgave my late arrival and weren't too far in the bag by the time I'd arrived. Again, Tina being dressed up in a shockingly awesome Red-and-silver outfit didn't hurt things. Once we got back, we got the bad news. Cass is in a place filled with snakes. This is not going to end well - I wonder what Frau Ott is going to make of my shopping list for tomorrow night. If I'm doing an assault, I'm doing it properly. That means about 50 paintballs wherein the paint has been replaced by one of the more poisonous substances known - my blood. Additionally, an illegally modified paintball gun is going to be in order, because if I'm shooting paintballs filled with my own blood, I don't want that shit to tickle when it hits.