Tales from the Gods' Tavern

Cercyon

Kids and Wives

So now it's the year 14; or it will be once calendars are a thing. And Apparently I have some potent-ass jewels because I have a total of 8 kids from 2 wives. Yes I have two wives now. Pretty sure that's gonna be the limit because one of them is Andarta, a goddess of war. She may be jealous. Now while Goda isn't a goddess (That I know of), she is definitely jealous. And she's not exactly happy that every time we do the dance with no pants, she winds up pregnant. That said, there's alternatives - we're all adults here, I'm sure you brilliant twits reading this can figure it out for yourselves. We've settled into a routine of sorts, as the years go by. Andarta and I have our children spend a year with me, and a year with her. We each raise them as we see fit, and I'm proving to be a decent-ish dad. Weird. Andartas' first daughter is Boudica, and there are twins en route.

I don't need a baby name book, I am the baby name book.

I think part of why Goda's jealous is because Boudica's the child of two gods, and as such is growing up much faster than the Fearsome Foursome. Which makes sibling fights tests of how sturdy I can make the walls. And while all of them do have the abilities of a god, I'm pretty sure the children from Goda are going to be the second string. Boudica hits...well, not like a truck, but a well built Volkswagen. She has cracked my ribs a few times, and...ooof. Has anyone else noticed tempers flaring a lot or is it just me? Anyway, I really need to be creative with a few things, especially when it comes to channeling everyone in a positive direction. Hopefully they'll be able to figure out where they are and how their places work.

Now the down sides of all these relationships is that I'm definitely not going to be invited to Olympian banquets. And in fact there's a sub-group of Vulcans' children who are accosting my followers in the streets. Even killing. This does not please me, so I am going to have to figure out a truce with Vulcan and make sure everyone plays nice. How I found out about the subgroup involves a night with Bacchus. On the up side of that, I had a great time and found out what I needed. On the down side, I woke up with a pig. Literally. in a sty. With an epic hangover. But with all that done, things are in motion - events are taking place soon that may require my attention. Specifically, the death of Octavian. And with that in mind, I may need to take a quick trip to the lands of the Marci tribe.

New Day, New Temple, New Problem

So one of the things I forgot about was some of my followers were attacked by some offbrand Vulcan...well, I can't properly call them worshippers, but they're annoying nonetheless. They're apparently not fans of me and mine, so I had to find out more. Cue one drunkass night with Bacchus that we don't talk about except to say I found out a little more, and I wanted to make sure I didn't have a holy war in the offing. Those can be rough. Vulcan assured me that we did not, so now it's time to help Mors with a thing. Specifically the current Emperor Octavian being about to shuffle off the mortal coil. So first, it was time to get our stuff together and get horses for a ride to Ostia, where we were going to catch a ride to Neapolis, and from there hoof it to Nuvlana where the good Emperor was waiting for his afterlife Lyft to arrive. I don't think Goda was entirely pleased, because every time I go on one of these trips with my friends something weird happens. I don't really have the heart to tell her that's why they're my friends.

So the horse ride was pretty easy, and then it was a quick canvass of the city for opportunities. First off, there's no temple to me in this outback. We'll have to fix that. Second, we had to get a ride. That was easily arranged, but then the local 'insurance' guy came around and wanted a slice for himself. I got him drunk, bartered him down, and because I am a damned showoff, I basically made the coins appear and fall into his hands. He was a happy camper. Once that was done, we were on our way to the nicer part of town to rent a home for a few days and get the permits in order for my temple. Then, since I had some time to kill, I decided to get a head start on the temple. The workers were going a slow, so I made sure the architect had the plans and promptly bought the temple up from the ground. It was no small feat, but I think I could probably make it easier with a little more work. Unfortunately, there was a side effect or two, in that well, a few people kinda sorta died in the earthquake. Note to self, less of that. However, the aftermath was amazing. There was dancing, the architect was having a moment, and it was a great welcoming to the town. And it pretty devolved into an epic party. But then I had an idea of sorts. The port's mostly used for grain, and if we built a mill onsite we could ship flour and move things more efficiently, with the chaff and other junk from it being put to use in other ways. Powered by water, if there was a source.

Oh look, there's the Tiber right there. Easy money. The weird thing during all of this was Kimiko looking at the size of my temple erection and suddenly deciding I was in fact nice enough to hang out with. It was seriously flattering and annoying all at the same time. Also, the temple wasn't the only thing erected. And no wives for miles. And, while I can manage Goda, there's a firey red-headed goddess of war up north who would not appreciate me with a new coat of wax on the godly candle. Andarta tolerates Goda, and I fear the day they meet. I managed to extricate myself and get cranking on the celebrating and also a few other things to get my temple going in the right direction starting tomorrow, once I had a meeting with the city fathers to discuss the mill idea and a few other things. If I play this right, Ostia could become my favored city in the Empire.

The next day progressed with minimal fuss, as it were and I finally got everything straightened out, got people going in the right direction to temple up my temple, and the meeting with the city fathers took way longer than expected because Kimiko was there again. To misquote a guy, oh did I wish I was somebody else right then. Somebody not married twice already, not madly in lust with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinky. Cause, yeah, pretty sure both Goda and Andarta would thoroughly disapprove - Goda, because there'd definitely be infidelity on that one, and Andarta because there's babies to be made, and Kimiko ain't a baby maker. I was able to hold onto that thought and finish the meeting, finally. And then Morpheus showed up to assert himself. I did in fact wonder where the hell he'd been during the meeting, before the meeting, and per-may-flipping-haps he should go find his undead concubine and have a talk about how I am not on the market. And if he was in need of some help with the marital duties, as it were, I'd invent a few things that might keep her happy. He was snippy, and was all ready to set some things on fire when Mors interrupted. Well, her spear did anyway.

After a little cool-down, we figured out what was next. Kimiko had disappeared, and I needed to get back to work. I found my architect, passed out on his desk with a few reams of papyrus for drawing. I took one, added some additional things to it for the temple, and also drew up some plans for the waterwheel mill. All in all, good times. He'll wake up with the inspirational drawings and hopefully take the next step. Meanwhile, we had to figure out where Kimiko was and I was politely summoned by Siobhán to help her find Mors and Kimiko, and we did.

In bed.

On the one hand, where the hell was my invitation to this party. On the other hand thank me they didn't invite me. I'm a pretty strong guy, but that mighta been the one that convinced me that a bad idea was a good idea. Morpheus was right behind and he was awestruck and displeased all at once. And we're just going to file that under Not My Problem - probably have to have a night with Bacchus, because after some discussion, we got teleported to a beach where Kimiko turned into Aphrodite wearing sea foam and a smile. Turns out Aphrodite's been cosplaying as Kimiko for awhile now, and Morpheus didn't really notice. Which does not speak well to Morpheus' powers of observation. Although to be fair, most folks who run up against Aphrodite tend to lose. In any case, Morpheus is back in the dumps because there's a lack of Kimiko in his life.

We got sent back to Ostia, where we had more discussion - we were being followed by...well, atheists, for lack of a better term. Siobhán had massacred one and we questioned it. After the questioning, we had to take the snickelways to Nuvlana. I am not going to lie I have a love-hate relationship with that sort of travel. We got there before we left, and I felt a weird duality as I was literally in two places at once. We found where our pursuers were hiding and then things got interesting. They had a statue that was literally taking divinity away; which sucked massively, as I could feel the power in this place. Earth, fire, all the things in my wheelhouse, right under my feet. we stole their statue, melted it, and then I remade it into an inert replica. And then we put it back where we found it. Damn I'm good.

For the rest of it, my part was pretty quiet - I didn't get to set anything on fire. Annoying. But I'm pretty well on my way to having Ostia as a nice vacation town, and I may have to consider Nuvlana as a possible expansion. That said, I may have to travel back to Andarta soon.